Dear Frankie: Tips on self-care and sticking to New Year’s resolutions
Welcome to the second instalment of Frankie’s advice column.
This month, the Discwoman co-founder imparts wisdom on the important stuff, covering plenty of ground: how to beat the music industry bullies whilst keeping your skin looking good.
If you, dear reader, need guidance on sex, politics, techno or reality TV, Crack Magazine’s Agony Aunt is here to help. Submit your questions to AgonyAunt@crackmagazine.net to get them answered in the next issue.
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© Tyler Jones
Dear Frankie,
As a club promoter I’ve found it frustrating when DJ managers and agents throw their weight around during the programming process, demanding you book their lower tier acts, seeking overpriced travel/accommodation, being really difficult when it comes to billing and generally making the situation really tough for small promoters. How would you recommend we deal with these industry bullies? And in your opinion is there anything that can be done to change the culture?
Yeah I really can’t with agents and promoters who are like this, they’re the villains of the industry. Like I’ve said previously, for me if I even catch whiff of someone communicating in a way that positions them as more important or condescending, I like to say something. And it almost always catches them off guard – it feels like you’re catching the flaws in something they may be oblivious to because they’ve been like this for so long. It shouldn’t be our job to break their patterns. However, it can be really satisfying and increase your confidence, so see it more as an exercise in that. Also adding ‘love’ to anything softens even the hardest blow.
Additionally, we obviously just need more promoters/bookers who are interested in supporting talent who aren’t only interested in making money. There’s nothing wrong in wanting to make money, but we need folks who are interested in both money and caring about the artist/scene they’re supporting too.
Hi Frankie,
Can you please leak your skincare regime?
Lol ummm my bar for this kind of stuff is pretty low but in my older years I’ve tried to give my skin a treat, so currently I use DHC’s deep cleansing oil, Burt’s Bees cucumber wipes and Kiehl’s face cream. Have no idea if it actually does anything tbh.
Hey Frankie,
2019 is the year I’m finally going to leave my day job to pursue my own creative endeavours. What tips do you have for achieving this?
When I was really spiralling in NYC, I felt like I had no creative prospects. I was working in food service. I got a South Park tattoo on my legs and my mum messaged me, like, “You’re never going to get a job because of this” lmao. Pretty much no one believed in my creativity. I was desperate for people to see me as an amazing writer, critic, thinker, etc., and in these stages of desperation I think I was my least creative as I was thinking so much about what people thought of me – and looking back at shit I wrote then you can tell. Everything I wrote was trying desperately hard to be smart or funny. NYC in particular is the land of selling yourself to people, you’re basically a walking resume. There is insane pressure to appear successful and very little room for you to reveal how sad and desperate you are. I don’t think I ever successfully hid my vulnerability and as a result of showing weakness I don’t think I was taken completely seriously.
However, I ultimately feel like it’s worked in my favour. I think people gravitate towards openness and vulnerability. It’s a refreshing energy. So I’d say, don’t be scared to show your flaws and admit your struggle in this process of getting your dream job, or whatever it is you’re pursuing in 2019.
Hey Frankie,
Year after year, I make New Year’s resolutions and just don’t stick to them. Whether it’s picking up that new hobby I’ve been fantasising over, calling my grandparents more often, or even just drinking less – I always fail. What tips do you have for finally pushing yourself to doing the things you want?
Hmmm, this is really hard to pinpoint. I’ve had some successes in my life in regards to routine, but have mostly just developed with getting older. Also some habits are just harder and perhaps more pressing to fix than others, i.e. drinking or smoking. I used to be a way heavier drinker, like everyday. When we started Discwoman, it came as a welcomed distraction from a fairly dangerous pattern I had developed. That being said, I’m pretty useless at sticking to things and kind of resent the “getting things done culture” where people think they’re failures if they don’t get a certain part of their lives together.
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Dear Frankie,
As we slide further into winter I feel some seasonal sadness creeping up. What are your self-care tips for surviving the bleaker winter months?
I mean if you’re rich you can just avoid ever being cold, so maybe try that?
Or what I’ve done with friends is cook for each other. Honestly I hate potlucks but somehow don’t hate spending twice as much money to feed my friends.
Another thing I’ve done to burn time during winter is go to the Roger Ebert film site and look up the Great Movies tab and just start from A and work my way through. I’ve found some incredible films this way.
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